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Category: Inner Transition
In ce masura imi asum vulnerabilitatea
Imi place cum Brene Brown, in cartea “Curajul de a fi vulnerabil“, face o lista care ma ajuta sa imi dau seama in ce masura imi asum vulnerabilitatea.
De 4 ani incoace, de cand antrenez muschiul vulnerabilizarii, insa simt ca sunt la foarte-foarte la inceput.
Iata ce spune Brene…
Ne putem da seama in ce masura oamenii isi asuma vulnerabilitatea, in functie de cat de des si cat de fatis spun urmatoarele lucruri:
- Nu stiu.
- Am nevoie de ajutor.
- As vrea sa fac o incercare, sa vad cum e.
- Este important pentru mine.
- Nu sunt de acord – putem sa vorbim despre asta?
- Nu a mers, dar am invatat multe lucruri.
- Da, eu am facut asta.
- Uite de ce am nevoie….
- Uite cum ma simt…
- Am nevoie de feedback.
- Imi spui si mie ce crezi despre asta?
- Ce as putea sa fac mai bine, data viitoare?
- Poti sa ma inveti cum sa fac asta?
- Am avut si eu un rol in tot ce se intampla.
- Amit ca sunt si eu responsabil pentru acest lucru.
- Sunt aici, oricand ai nevoie de mine.
- Vreau sa te ajut.
- Am pierdut, dar mergem mai departe!
- Imi cer scuze.
- Mi-ai facut un mare serviciu.
- Multumesc.
Acum 4 ani am scris pe o bucata de hartie formula “Brene” (ii spun eu)
Vulnerabilitate = Incertitudine + Risc + Expunere Emotionala
… si am lipit-o pe laptop. O vad oricand lucrez la birou si e un foarte bun reminder pentru multe momente in care vreau sa ma inchid, sa ma ascund de lume, cand imi e rusine sau cand sunt aroganta.
M-am decis sa imi listez lista de mai sus si sa o folosesc la fel – pentru inca o sustinere in antrenamentul vulnerabilitatii – in relatia cu cei mai apropiati mie si cu clientii mei.
Unele puncte de acolo imi devin familiare in ultima perioada (Nu stiu, Am nevoie de ajutor) insa unele imi sunt inca… departe, de exemplu – Am pierdut, dar megem mai departe, Da, eu am facut asta, Mi-ai facut un mare serviciu, As vrea sa fac o incercare.
Sursa foto cover: imagine din setul de carduri metaforice Sweet Clarity, autor Ronen Hirsch.
[movie] A Quest for Meaning
There ARE better movies…
I discovered this movie today and it says it’s free to watch until 23rd of April.
Even if the subjects can be treated in a more profound way, the movie touches the most important elements of life as it is now, as it can be, purpose and meaning of humanity.
Maybe for some of us to see…
http://aquestformeaning-themovie.com/
Hope is in the individual.
The Pain You Feel is Capitalism Dying
The Pain You Feel is Capitalism Dying
yes, it hurts… I know it… it hurt me from the moment I started to put my heart into everything I did… to relate heart to heart with the people I worked with.
it hurt so much that my body was screaming in illness (heart, thyroid, stomach, sexuality etc.). i killed my pain with more “work”, getting to sleep on my working desk from 5 to 7 am (it was no point of going home, having almost no sleep then coming back), numbing my feelings, living as a dead near the persons who loved me – crying out that I am not there until their tears dried off too -, me smiling on the outside to everyone, dying inside, searching for different therapists to solve my issues, even flying to USA for this(!).
something was not right, I was not doing it right… everyone else was seeming to be alright. they were not… I realized it after many years that they were also not alright. they were also struggling.
then I stepped out…
first (2005) when my heart was so torn from a decision of my boss, that I swore to myself I will never work with people who are not in their hearts.
secondly (2008) when I realized I was doing a crapy (not really wanted) job hoping they will fire me (not having the courage to scream out-loud!). they didn’t – I quit.
since 2005 I have the privilege to understand… and to connect the dots.
since then, working with career counseling, I know… when there is no heart, there is no life, when gifts are not acknowledged and manifested there is a hard time, stressful time, painful time… and not only for the person itself.
and yes, it’s a hard time to place your heart and gifts in organizations who are extracting wealth out of you, organizations which only claims to have you as their center, who claims to take care of you.
back in Feb 2015 I realized I will never find myself going back to the business environment again, at least for the one which is happening now… and it’s not going in a good direction.
Joe Brewer is right, IT is dying…
maybe there will be organizations which look like Frederic is describing, will see…
meanwhile, I choose to be next to children making sure their wings are clean, next to youth and adults who are in search for their hearts, gifts… for themselves… be close to them… hold the mirror so that they KNOW they are ALRIGHT!
precious humble job – sometimes is called facilitator, sometimes career counselor. I’m doing… nothing – they do everything – they have that power.
I light candles… I hold mirrors…
Sophy Banks reflects on 10 years at the heart of Transition
Last December, Sophy Banks, the founder of the ‘Inner Transition’ aspect of Transition Networks, moves on from Transition Network to pastures new, a moment Rob Hopkins felt needed marking.
Here is the interview with Sophy (written and audio @ SoundCloud).
Some saying caught my attention from what she says…
We have this tendency to look at the world through a particular lens. I think there are different ways of knowing truth. Some people tend to know truth through what we can measure physically and they tend to look at the whole world through the material lens. Other people think that the deepest truth we can find is known through consciousness and our inner world. People who see the world through those different lenses tend to polarise and tend not to be able to speak to each other, because they don’t have a meeting point. […]
Sometimes I feel like I’ve been like a mother in Transition Network, that I’ve been holding something about the wellbeing of the whole family, as it were. […]
Paying attention to what’s needed. It’s quite an invisible role and it’s quite difficult to see the work it takes as it’s not about doing a lot of stuff but it’s about an awareness and paying attention and bringing something at the right moment, or the moment when you think it’s needed. […]
… part of my mission was to make that training have a very strong Inner component, so relating how we do community engagement to a psychological model around change, that people have the depth to understand how to get the things that they do to work. I guess that’s been my passion, to bring that sense of – if we don’t understand how human beings work, how can we design human systems, how can we do that? […]
There’s lots of layers to that question. The simple answer is it just feels right. […]
I do really feel like what I’ve got to give has been taken. It’s been received and actually it’s time for me to go. It feels good for me. I’m tired and I need space. […] I really need a period of time where I’m still, and have time just to be with space. […]
The first thing that I would wish would be for an end to burnout […]
… for me part of what all of those many beautiful practices and movements of inner work support is this sense of what a complete human being is. That we’re not just what we do. That we’re also the depth of our love for our children and each other and the people that are vulnerable. We are the vision that we can imagine and the beauty that we both bring and want to see in the world. We are the intensity of our grief when things are lost and go wrong and the enormity of our courage to stand in the face of things that are terrifying and say we’re still going to act.