moments around the mat

there are moments when I want to go on the mat and moments when I don’t have the wanting yet I have the doing of going to the mat… when I feel driven…

there are moments of preparing the mat… each of the candle lightning, setting the polystyrene, mat, block, taking off my accessories… in those moments I usually look at myself and my attitude towards going on the mat…

then there are the moments before the practice, the moments of arriving into position, the moments when coming into the practice, settling on… looking at the mind… the state of being…

there are moments before the asana…

the moments when breath and movement are aligned…

the moments of spacious inhale, attentiveness to the directionality, in the thorax, as my lung inflate towards the diaphragm…

and the moments when inhale ends… the moments after the inhale…the moments between the inhale of exhale, the moments before the exhale… then the exhale…

the moments when length of the inhale / exhale is not enough… the moments when I look at this, smile inside and move on… moments when I judge myself for that…

the moments when I see the yawning, laziness or sleep kicking in and the moments when I bring that into the attention and move on…

the moments when my mind is away and the ones when I notice that and bring it back…

the moments when I am not there and do a “wrong” repetition or the moments when I don’t know which number of the repetition it is that and exactly that is informing me about the state of the mind in those moments…

there are sometimes (many, still) the moments at the end of an asana when I think forward to what follows, noticing my content 🙂 about knowing what follows in the sequence of the whole practice…

there was also one moment when I felt so asleep that I went to sleep right there, ON the mat, just because my mind was keeping telling me “come on, you cannot sleep ON the mat!” 🙂 I could… really well!!

there are moments after the practice when I sense a dissatisfaction feeling… smiling and moving on with the day (to the next practice in life)…

there are moments when I don’t see the moments… or when I don’t know how moments passed…

there are moments when I know “I didn’t do it right”… and moments when I look at my mind thinking “I am doing it right”… both sides of the same coin… time to keep “en guarde”.

there are moments of still mind, completeness, wholeness… that are here many times after the practice, a deep satisfaction beyond the satisfaction of completing one practice in that day…

the moments when I wonder why am I doing this… and the moments when there is a complete trust and deep knowing about the doing and the meaning of it beyond that specific moment in time and space…