impermanence and an instant

The realization that everything is subject to change may be the greatest obstacle to happiness. We welcome those changes that bring moments of delight and satisfaction – the birth of a child, the recovery from illness, financial gain. Yet, even in these moments, we sense movement. Change takes away the beauty and energy of youth. At peaks of health we know that we will again experience injury and illness. Possessions acquired through wealth can be lost or lose their power to gratify. Change always seems pointed toward a sense of loss, inevitably of life itself.

And yet it is precisely in this understanding of the inevitability of change that the meaning of Yoga enters our life and beckons toward happiness.

This is Yoga as the progression into the new.

“Health, Healing and Beyond – Yoga and the Living Tradition of KRISHNAMACHARYA”, by T.K. V. Desikachar with R.H. Craven

Thank God I have met Sayagyi U Ba Khin and Goenka through Adi de la Brad and Geonka’s teaching assistants, Nathamuni-Krishnamacharya through his lineage Desikachar-Paul-Ziva-Ronen.

Ronen was asking me yesterday if I see the benefits of Yoga into my life, mostly now when I am into a… living-situation 🙂 let call it.

OH, GOD! Thank GOD I have chosen to start learning to breath (in 2007) and still practicing… thank god I know everything changes… when I know… when I don’t I am humbly reminded… thank god for the softness I can be with in my darkest moments… thank god for the breath which is not mine and yet fills me with live and vibrancy…

I have a new practice for a couple of days now. The focus of my practice  is the giving into the exhale, the letting go… and receiving (or see what’s coming, discovering there) in the inhale. In the first time I was on the mat in the new practice, I had a moment…

a moment when I was the giver…it was on an exhale quite at the beginning of the practice… it was an instant realization

there were so many in that instant… that THIS might be my last breath… this is everything I can offer… yet it is not mine… I am just a tube… I don’t know what will follow, what is after… yet I totally trust…

today I (let’s call it) celebrate… 21st of August 2007 was the first day of my first vipassana course… was the day when I started to get into anapana-sati…

I was starting to bring life… breath.. back into this amazing vessel which is this body… to grasp death and life are part of the same coin… and are here every moment, in every breath I… take (?)… I am offered… Universe is filling me with every breath… star dust… sacredness.

I am offered this experience, along with so many other sacred spirits along the way…

not easy traveling… but.. PPFFF!!! FULL!!! of everything what life means!!…

in my yesterday practice PERSEVERANCE come to me… patience and perseverance, with softness. in the last days I go to the mat with Tirumalai in my heart… being grateful for all the effort he put in this lifetime for humanity (there are so many others!!). I am here to assume some effort… for my Spirit, for all the beings which are on the way.

even when my asanas are mechanistic, I can see that, can be with that.. or if I don’t see (am), I catch it as it has just passed… accept that and move on …. with perseverance… don’t lose time and energy in judging… putting more effort (attentiveness and presence) in being into the moment… a new breath is here… inhale.. exhale… this is what I can offer, letting go…

heading to the mat in reverence… celebrating each breath at a time…

may all beings be free of suffering,

may all beings be happy,

may we all know pace and harmony inside.

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