it takes a lot to be a woman

today it was the first meeting with the Fairy Godmothers

unele femei m-au intrebat sau au afirmat la despartire ca ne stim de undeva dar nu stiu de unde… well, eu am simtit asta de cand ne-am adunat in acelasi spatiu fizic, fata de unele chiar puternic… familiaritatea aceea de care nu ma mai speriu :).

normal ca ne stim de undeva… de pe aici… iar acum ne-am intalnit si fizic pentru prima oara.

in aceasta seara am avut trairi mixte… on one side and in some moments I was feeling filled (literraly inside by body, mostly in my womb and my heart) with warmth, joy… blessed…

on other moments I was noticing myself thinking about “what am I doing here?”, “are we serious adults talking about fairies?”.

I felt some of the women really close to in heart, as we were sharing our opinions in group opening.

what shimmered for me again… was the realization about who am I, as a woman…

 

Cristina (one of the women who “knows be from somewhere”) was asking at the end of the meeting, how can we differenciate between the woman…where woman ends and when the girl begins?

 

what come to me again and it came to me for many times in the past couple of months… what I know with by whole being is that:

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint, I do not feel ashamed.
the child inside me never ends… the lover… the same…
sometimes I am a child… sometimes I’m a bitch. different moments in my life triggers some part of me and I express that in those moments. and they are mostly labels we use to identify a behaviour.
the mother it’s still waiting, but I feel it more and more close. I know now there will be a child coming through me in this life. I fell something it’s cooking around me, bigger then myself, beyond my rational decision about it.
I feel the motherhood inside me (dedicated post for this coming soon – it’s a lot going on).
the words still resonating inside me from the meeting today are sacred, together, expressing, unspoken.

feel free to share your thoughts on this